Timing is everything

"OK, get off his case, now!" came the instruction from my riding coach.  I was trying to correct the horse I was on and, the moment I got that instruction, it was like someone turned the light on...he had responded and I was still asking. It was a fraction of a second but it was still late, I'd asked the question, the horse answered but I was still asking.  When I was a kid living at home my mum used to get really frustrated when I'd ask a question and not listen to the answer, that's exactly what I was doing to this horse.  Quite rude when I think of it.

Release is our way of saying "that's right" to the horse or "well done for trying".  And without release, pressure becomes the norm so more pressure needs to be applied to correct and the negative cycle continues.

I'd much rather a horse search for the right answer than be scared of giving a wrong answer or even worse have no say in the matter at all, just be dictated to.

I hope the more experienced I get, I will notice the more subtle answers from the horse I'm working with and reward accordingly.

Try, try again

Encouragement is one of the biggest things sought by the student in the learning process, yet this can often be missing at the most crucial moments.  We can become so obsessed with success and failure that we miss the key thing to achievement…to try.

To try is everything when you want to achieve something.  But equally important, is to notice when someone else is trying.  A fantastic example is watching a baby learning how to walk, they just try and the friends and family around them encourage them to keep at it.  I think a lot of people should think of their horse as a baby learning how to walk, trust that they will get it and give them whatever you can to help them get there.

Success can be rewarded, but it should be seen as a by-product of the guts it took to give it a go.  To breed more success, it’s the effort of the journey which has to be rewarded higher.  To reward success alone can be suffocating and a fear of failure can easily grow, not something you want in a person or a horse.

Learn to read the horse you’re working with and reward any little try, you’ll get a horse who is far more willing to try for you again.  Take a look inwardly as well, do you put too much pressure on yourself?  The result (perceived success or failure) is ultimately out of your control, but the thing you control is how you try.  No guts, no glory.

Maybe you’re right where you’re supposed to be

People in the horse world are very hard on themselves.  They invariably never mention what they are able to do, but what they can’t do.  “I’m really struggling with…”  “I’m rubbish at…” “I can’t get him to…”.  But if they were to use a little perspective and take a look at all of the things that they can get done on a horse, I’m sure they’d be surprised.  Maybe the frustrations could become the next step or challenge rather than just another tick on the list of ‘things I can’t do’.

I remember one such incident with myself, I was complaining to my riding coach about something I wasn’t happy about and she said “You’d be very happy if you were this rubbish 3 months ago!”  It made me smile, which was probably the point.  

I can be just as negative about my abilities but the other day, I stopped myself and thought "Maybe I'm right where I'm supposed to be".  I've only been riding properly for about a year and helping look after horses for less than that.  I am used to judging my abilities by what other people can do.  I'm now going to try and have my goals in mind but be realistic and always keep an eye on where I am.

This is also true for the horses.  I see a lot of people at their wits end with their horse but to me it looks like they've set the bar just a little bit too high.  Maybe their horse is right where he should be and it's up to the person to set the goal posts in the right place.

This even transcends horsemanship and can be applied pretty much anywhere in your life.

Humble Beginnings

Money can be the biggest barrier to people getting involved in any equine pursuit.  Horses are living, breathing things and need looking after which doesn't come cheap.  But finances don't need to determine whether or not you get involved, you may just need to go about things slightly differently.  Sometimes you have to start from the bottom, and in no place is that more true than the horse industry.  Quite literally!

So if you are going to graft your way up...

You'll need to familiarise yourself with one of these;

One of these;

And a LOT of this;

Mucking out and filling water buckets may not be the only way you can help out, you may have another skill that a horse owner might need.  

The only advice that I feel I can give at my current level is; an ounce of humility goes a very long way.  Ask for help or advice when you need it and don't be afraid to admit that there are gaps in your knowledge, everyone has to start somewhere.

Accidental Horseman: Learning to whisper, my musings and stuff

Hello,

My name is Matt and this is my blog, the Accidental Horseman.  I'm an amateur photographer, film maker, and now blogger, vlogger and trainee horse whisperer.

I called it the Accidental Horseman because not a lot in my life up to this point would have lead anyone to believe that this is what I wanted to do.  

A very brief history of how I got here...

I was born and raised in London (England, UK) in a not particularly horsey family in a not particularly horsey area.  Riding lessons were more than my parents could afford and that was pretty much that.  I loved all sport and played pretty much everything but most of my childhood and teenage years revolved around eating and playing tennis.  But there was always a little part of me that was still fascinated by horses and the 5-year-old in me longed to be one of those people who could seemingly whisper to our equine friends.  Fast forward quite a few years…I moved out of London to a wonderful place called the English countryside and at the age of 26 finally decided to dive into the horse world.

So this is the beginning of my journey and I’m writing this blog so that people can come along with me.  Some of you may be a little bit, or a lot, further down the road than me, others maybe haven't started yet.   

I have a lot to learn but hope to share what I learn with you all and you never know, one day I might just end up training a horse or two…