Timing is everything

"OK, get off his case, now!" came the instruction from my riding coach.  I was trying to correct the horse I was on and, the moment I got that instruction, it was like someone turned the light on...he had responded and I was still asking. It was a fraction of a second but it was still late, I'd asked the question, the horse answered but I was still asking.  When I was a kid living at home my mum used to get really frustrated when I'd ask a question and not listen to the answer, that's exactly what I was doing to this horse.  Quite rude when I think of it.

Release is our way of saying "that's right" to the horse or "well done for trying".  And without release, pressure becomes the norm so more pressure needs to be applied to correct and the negative cycle continues.

I'd much rather a horse search for the right answer than be scared of giving a wrong answer or even worse have no say in the matter at all, just be dictated to.

I hope the more experienced I get, I will notice the more subtle answers from the horse I'm working with and reward accordingly.

Try, try again

Encouragement is one of the biggest things sought by the student in the learning process, yet this can often be missing at the most crucial moments.  We can become so obsessed with success and failure that we miss the key thing to achievement…to try.

To try is everything when you want to achieve something.  But equally important, is to notice when someone else is trying.  A fantastic example is watching a baby learning how to walk, they just try and the friends and family around them encourage them to keep at it.  I think a lot of people should think of their horse as a baby learning how to walk, trust that they will get it and give them whatever you can to help them get there.

Success can be rewarded, but it should be seen as a by-product of the guts it took to give it a go.  To breed more success, it’s the effort of the journey which has to be rewarded higher.  To reward success alone can be suffocating and a fear of failure can easily grow, not something you want in a person or a horse.

Learn to read the horse you’re working with and reward any little try, you’ll get a horse who is far more willing to try for you again.  Take a look inwardly as well, do you put too much pressure on yourself?  The result (perceived success or failure) is ultimately out of your control, but the thing you control is how you try.  No guts, no glory.

Off on an intelligent path – Part 5 – Goodbye already?!

The last 2 days of the course were a complete blur, time flies and all that.  A small part of me was really excited about the week coming to an end, getting back to the real world and putting everything I had learned into practise.  But, a much larger part of me wanted to dig my heals in, grab the nearest door-frame and refuse to leave. 

The focus shifted slightly on Thursday and Friday.  The days weren’t quite as packed as the previous three which gave us a bit of time to reflect.

Each of us had a session of our choosing on Thursday and I chose to do some more halter/leading work.  What I thought was going to be a session on how I could lead a horse a bit better turned into a very philosophical lesson about myself and my whole approach to horsemanship.  My instructor, Julia, made me think of everything I do and how it effects the one on the other end of the lead rope.  She taught me that you can be gentle without being soft and you can be firm without being harsh but also, how forgiving a horse can be if you get it wrong from time to time.  I came away from that session feeling like I could do anything…I also learnt how to lead a horse a bit better too.

Friday was as bitter-sweet a day as you might expect.  We all had our final Join-ups of the week and were told about other courses which I wanted to sign myself up for right away but had to remind myself that annual leave and money are finite things, so I’ll have to pace myself. 

I couldn’t quite believe the week had come to an end, I’d learnt so much but also felt that I’d only scratched the surface and before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye actually I hope it’s more ‘see you soon’.

Massive thanks to Kelly Marks and the Intelligent Horsemanship team and of course The Loveliness.

I think the world of everyone in this photo and I’m sure that they’ll all go on to do great things.

Maybe you’re right where you’re supposed to be

People in the horse world are very hard on themselves.  They invariably never mention what they are able to do, but what they can’t do.  “I’m really struggling with…”  “I’m rubbish at…” “I can’t get him to…”.  But if they were to use a little perspective and take a look at all of the things that they can get done on a horse, I’m sure they’d be surprised.  Maybe the frustrations could become the next step or challenge rather than just another tick on the list of ‘things I can’t do’.

I remember one such incident with myself, I was complaining to my riding coach about something I wasn’t happy about and she said “You’d be very happy if you were this rubbish 3 months ago!”  It made me smile, which was probably the point.  

I can be just as negative about my abilities but the other day, I stopped myself and thought "Maybe I'm right where I'm supposed to be".  I've only been riding properly for about a year and helping look after horses for less than that.  I am used to judging my abilities by what other people can do.  I'm now going to try and have my goals in mind but be realistic and always keep an eye on where I am.

This is also true for the horses.  I see a lot of people at their wits end with their horse but to me it looks like they've set the bar just a little bit too high.  Maybe their horse is right where he should be and it's up to the person to set the goal posts in the right place.

This even transcends horsemanship and can be applied pretty much anywhere in your life.

Off on an intelligent path - Part 4 - Lights, Camera...

I forgot about the video camera, whose footage I would be scrutinising later.  I didn’t think I would, it’s funny what the thought of being filmed does to someone when you’re not used to it.  I thought every little mistake or blunder in communication would send my ego into a panic “well that’ll look rubbish on the video, this is what I’m going to have to show people!”  Luckily, this wasn’t the case.

The video camera was skilfully handled by an Intelligent Horsemanship volunteer and she was filming my third Join-up of the week with the wonderful Sox. (“Bromance of the week” was how my feedback sheet from Linda started).  As soon as I got into the round pen and Linda told me to unclip and get going, that’s when I forgot about the camera and the people outside the pen.  I’ll be the first to admit that my concentration span is rubbish, but there’s something about working with a horse that holds my undivided attention.  I was left, mostly, up to my own devices this time with much fewer instructions coming from the instructor than before.  Strangely this gave me more confidence, I suppose it was knowing that the safety net was still there but they had confidence in me to leave me to my own devices.  The join-up went really well and felt really quick, before I knew it we were posing for a cheesy grin to the camera (Sox is infinitely more photogenic than me).  That cheesy grin stayed with me all the way back to the stable where I made a big fuss of Sox and headed back out to see the next member of the group do their video session.  

I loved watching the other members of the group doing their thing almost as much as when I was working with the horses myself, I was rooting for them all.

Off on an intelligent path - Part 3 - Casting the lines

“You muppet, you can put a saddle on, Matthew.  You’ve done it before!”  My self-motivational talk wasn’t really helping.  It’s funny what pressure can do and how it almost always comes from within.  I had put saddles and other tack on before but, for a few seconds, as I looked at the various pieces of equipment on the ground my mind went blank.  Luckily, I had Sandra just outside the round pen who knew exactly what to say and exactly when to say it.  My mind was still buzzing from my second join-up of the week, this time with a lovely pony called Derek, so Sandra gave me a moment to let that soak in before bringing the tack in so that I could start the process of getting ready to long line.  (Long lining is a method of working a horse from the ground, like the more commonly used lunging but with two lines. For more info on long lining I’ll put some links at the end of this post).  I’m used to having a horse tied up whilst putting tack on but I didn’t have that luxury in the round pen, so I fumbled around trying to get the saddle and bridle on whilst getting tangled up in the line I had attached to the head collar.  I’m sure this amused Derek.  With the tack in place, including a stirrup leather to hold the stirrups in place so they don’t bang on the horse’s side, it was time to clip the lines on and get working.  Derek knew what he was doing and responded to my requests to speed up, slow down and turn with no problem at all and he stood wonderfully still while I took all the tack off and made a big fuss of him.

That afternoon I would be doing more long lining, only this time out on the roads.  I genuinely struggle to think of a better way to spend an afternoon.  We got in the car with Ian, who owns and runs the farm and drove for about 5 minutes up the road to some lovely, quiet country lanes.  The ponies, Precious and Gromit,  were  fitted with their training surcingles and lines and off we strolled.  My partner and I were working (if you can call it that) with Gromit.  As we spent the next hour or so wandering through the chocolate box countryside, listening to Ian’s stories, all felt very right in my little world.  I would actually prescribe this activity as a stress reliever.  I went to sleep that night with a  smile on my face.

Join-up

Over the next few posts you will hear me talk about something called 'Join-up'.  For those of you who aren't familiar with what Join-up is, I'll do my best to explain...

In simple terms, Join-up is a way of creating a bond of trust and respect between you and a horse.  You do this by, essentially, speaking the horses language.  This throws the doors of communication wide open and invites the horse to see you as a safe place.

Join-up as we know it originated when a young Monty Roberts watched horses in the wild and how they interacted with one another.  He noticed that the dominant horses in the herd moved the other horses around, they controlled the feet of the other horses.  This behaviour was most obvious when a dominant mare would discipline one of the younger members of the herd, driving them away from the safety of the group and keeping them out there until they have shown enough apologetic behaviour.  Then the mare releases the pressure and allows the youngster back into safety.  A very direct and clear way of handling a young offender in the herd, but surprisingly, very rarely involving serious violence.

What Monty then discovered was that humans could harness this communication method to better our understanding and trust between us and the horse, creating a foundation for a relationship based on trust and willingness rather than fear and submission.

I could write for days about Join-up, and I will certainly go into it in more depth as my knowledge and experience grows.  But for now, if you want any more information on Join-up or to see it in action, I'll put some useful links below;

http://www.montyroberts.com/ab_about_monty/ju_about/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dx91mH2voo

Off on an Intelligent path (Part 1)

I arrived at the farm feeling fairly nervous.  That tipping point of excited/nervous where you can’t wait for what’s about to happen but you’re still about to walk into a room full of people who you don’t know.  Well, the nerves disappeared pretty much as soon as I walked in, I don’t think I’ve ever been smiled at by a room of strangers before, it’s a good feeling (which, yes, means I was one of the last to arrive).

I was spending the week at Hartsop Farm in Oxfordshire for the Intelligent Horsemanship 5 Day Foundation Course.  Last October I had been to see a  demonstration by Monty Roberts on Join-up and left with my mind sufficiently blown.  I was also lucky enough to meet Kelly Marks (One of Monty Roberts’ first students and founder of Intelligent Horsemanship).  We talked about other horse trainers, she signed my book, which embarrassingly wasn’t one of hers, and finally mentioned a course that they run.  And the seed was planted… “Could I really learn how to do THAT?”

The 5-year-old me went into overdrive and I convinced myself that this is what I had to do.  I didn’t need a lot of convincing.  I aimed at one of the courses in June or July to give myself plenty of time to save up, but with a cash injection thanks to my parents and Christmas aligning, I seemed to be ahead of target.  I couldn’t wait anymore so I booked myself a weeks holiday at the end of May and signed myself up.  I really don’t like wishing time away, but I couldn’t wait and the following weeks duly passed and before I knew it, I found myself pointing at my luggage saying things out loud to make sure I had everything.  

Clothes - Check, Wash bag - Check, Suitable Footwear - Check, Hard Hat - Check, Feeling that this week will change everything - CHECK...

Humble Beginnings

Money can be the biggest barrier to people getting involved in any equine pursuit.  Horses are living, breathing things and need looking after which doesn't come cheap.  But finances don't need to determine whether or not you get involved, you may just need to go about things slightly differently.  Sometimes you have to start from the bottom, and in no place is that more true than the horse industry.  Quite literally!

So if you are going to graft your way up...

You'll need to familiarise yourself with one of these;

One of these;

And a LOT of this;

Mucking out and filling water buckets may not be the only way you can help out, you may have another skill that a horse owner might need.  

The only advice that I feel I can give at my current level is; an ounce of humility goes a very long way.  Ask for help or advice when you need it and don't be afraid to admit that there are gaps in your knowledge, everyone has to start somewhere.

Why horses?

One of the most common questions I get asked by friends and family is "Why horses?"

Throughout time people have been drawn to horses like no other animal.  Their association with freedom is constant and has been written and spoken of for centuries.  They have an almost mythical balance of power, grace and elegance which has captured the hearts and minds of so many.  Shakespeare wrote in Henry V; “When I bestride him, I soar, I am a hawk: he trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes.”  Of course when Shakespeare wrote this, horses were as big a part of our day-to-day lives as cars, trains and buses are today, before tractors and JCBs they sculpted our landscape, they carried us over vast distances and even into the field of battle.  Even though they no longer serve these purposes on a wide scale there is something enduring about horses that lingers in our curious fascination.

This fascination has been with me for years.  Through my eyes it’s the gentleness that they are capable of that has always drawn me to them.  Their power and strength is humbling and yet they are often the one yielding to our requests.

I think they also give us perspective for seeking simplicity in our own lives.  Horses don't use emails or mobile phones, don’t have mortgages, never have the nagging feeling that they've left the oven on.  They don’t understand the concept of advertising and therefore aren't restrained by what you ‘should’ be or what others might think, they just are.  No games, no conditions.  I’m often at my calmest and most centred when I’m poo picking the paddocks in the morning before work.  All in the world seems still, for those moments at least. 

Maybe in some instances they remind us of simpler times in human history, when life wasn't quite as full-on as it seems to be now.

Horses teach us how cheap words really are, they speak in actions.  Beyond a few simple verbal commands, horses have no concept of our language and the challenge then falls to us to breach that gap in communication.  Unfortunately too many times in the past this gap has been breached with violence, which even more unfortunately showed signs of success and gave rise to the concept that you must dominate and the horse must submit to you.  In reality, people can learn the language of horses which leads to a relationship based on trust, safety and cooperation which opens doors that fear and intimidation would force shut.

So in closing; “why horses?”  They make us better people.

Accidental Horseman: Learning to whisper, my musings and stuff

Hello,

My name is Matt and this is my blog, the Accidental Horseman.  I'm an amateur photographer, film maker, and now blogger, vlogger and trainee horse whisperer.

I called it the Accidental Horseman because not a lot in my life up to this point would have lead anyone to believe that this is what I wanted to do.  

A very brief history of how I got here...

I was born and raised in London (England, UK) in a not particularly horsey family in a not particularly horsey area.  Riding lessons were more than my parents could afford and that was pretty much that.  I loved all sport and played pretty much everything but most of my childhood and teenage years revolved around eating and playing tennis.  But there was always a little part of me that was still fascinated by horses and the 5-year-old in me longed to be one of those people who could seemingly whisper to our equine friends.  Fast forward quite a few years…I moved out of London to a wonderful place called the English countryside and at the age of 26 finally decided to dive into the horse world.

So this is the beginning of my journey and I’m writing this blog so that people can come along with me.  Some of you may be a little bit, or a lot, further down the road than me, others maybe haven't started yet.   

I have a lot to learn but hope to share what I learn with you all and you never know, one day I might just end up training a horse or two…