Try, try again

Encouragement is one of the biggest things sought by the student in the learning process, yet this can often be missing at the most crucial moments.  We can become so obsessed with success and failure that we miss the key thing to achievement…to try.

To try is everything when you want to achieve something.  But equally important, is to notice when someone else is trying.  A fantastic example is watching a baby learning how to walk, they just try and the friends and family around them encourage them to keep at it.  I think a lot of people should think of their horse as a baby learning how to walk, trust that they will get it and give them whatever you can to help them get there.

Success can be rewarded, but it should be seen as a by-product of the guts it took to give it a go.  To breed more success, it’s the effort of the journey which has to be rewarded higher.  To reward success alone can be suffocating and a fear of failure can easily grow, not something you want in a person or a horse.

Learn to read the horse you’re working with and reward any little try, you’ll get a horse who is far more willing to try for you again.  Take a look inwardly as well, do you put too much pressure on yourself?  The result (perceived success or failure) is ultimately out of your control, but the thing you control is how you try.  No guts, no glory.

Off on an intelligent path – Part 5 – Goodbye already?!

The last 2 days of the course were a complete blur, time flies and all that.  A small part of me was really excited about the week coming to an end, getting back to the real world and putting everything I had learned into practise.  But, a much larger part of me wanted to dig my heals in, grab the nearest door-frame and refuse to leave. 

The focus shifted slightly on Thursday and Friday.  The days weren’t quite as packed as the previous three which gave us a bit of time to reflect.

Each of us had a session of our choosing on Thursday and I chose to do some more halter/leading work.  What I thought was going to be a session on how I could lead a horse a bit better turned into a very philosophical lesson about myself and my whole approach to horsemanship.  My instructor, Julia, made me think of everything I do and how it effects the one on the other end of the lead rope.  She taught me that you can be gentle without being soft and you can be firm without being harsh but also, how forgiving a horse can be if you get it wrong from time to time.  I came away from that session feeling like I could do anything…I also learnt how to lead a horse a bit better too.

Friday was as bitter-sweet a day as you might expect.  We all had our final Join-ups of the week and were told about other courses which I wanted to sign myself up for right away but had to remind myself that annual leave and money are finite things, so I’ll have to pace myself. 

I couldn’t quite believe the week had come to an end, I’d learnt so much but also felt that I’d only scratched the surface and before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye actually I hope it’s more ‘see you soon’.

Massive thanks to Kelly Marks and the Intelligent Horsemanship team and of course The Loveliness.

I think the world of everyone in this photo and I’m sure that they’ll all go on to do great things.

Maybe you’re right where you’re supposed to be

People in the horse world are very hard on themselves.  They invariably never mention what they are able to do, but what they can’t do.  “I’m really struggling with…”  “I’m rubbish at…” “I can’t get him to…”.  But if they were to use a little perspective and take a look at all of the things that they can get done on a horse, I’m sure they’d be surprised.  Maybe the frustrations could become the next step or challenge rather than just another tick on the list of ‘things I can’t do’.

I remember one such incident with myself, I was complaining to my riding coach about something I wasn’t happy about and she said “You’d be very happy if you were this rubbish 3 months ago!”  It made me smile, which was probably the point.  

I can be just as negative about my abilities but the other day, I stopped myself and thought "Maybe I'm right where I'm supposed to be".  I've only been riding properly for about a year and helping look after horses for less than that.  I am used to judging my abilities by what other people can do.  I'm now going to try and have my goals in mind but be realistic and always keep an eye on where I am.

This is also true for the horses.  I see a lot of people at their wits end with their horse but to me it looks like they've set the bar just a little bit too high.  Maybe their horse is right where he should be and it's up to the person to set the goal posts in the right place.

This even transcends horsemanship and can be applied pretty much anywhere in your life.

Off on an intelligent path - Part 4 - Lights, Camera...

I forgot about the video camera, whose footage I would be scrutinising later.  I didn’t think I would, it’s funny what the thought of being filmed does to someone when you’re not used to it.  I thought every little mistake or blunder in communication would send my ego into a panic “well that’ll look rubbish on the video, this is what I’m going to have to show people!”  Luckily, this wasn’t the case.

The video camera was skilfully handled by an Intelligent Horsemanship volunteer and she was filming my third Join-up of the week with the wonderful Sox. (“Bromance of the week” was how my feedback sheet from Linda started).  As soon as I got into the round pen and Linda told me to unclip and get going, that’s when I forgot about the camera and the people outside the pen.  I’ll be the first to admit that my concentration span is rubbish, but there’s something about working with a horse that holds my undivided attention.  I was left, mostly, up to my own devices this time with much fewer instructions coming from the instructor than before.  Strangely this gave me more confidence, I suppose it was knowing that the safety net was still there but they had confidence in me to leave me to my own devices.  The join-up went really well and felt really quick, before I knew it we were posing for a cheesy grin to the camera (Sox is infinitely more photogenic than me).  That cheesy grin stayed with me all the way back to the stable where I made a big fuss of Sox and headed back out to see the next member of the group do their video session.  

I loved watching the other members of the group doing their thing almost as much as when I was working with the horses myself, I was rooting for them all.

Hello Youtube

Very excited to have my first video up on Youtube...but ever grateful to the blog readers, this is where it all started.

Off on an intelligent path - Part 3 - Casting the lines

“You muppet, you can put a saddle on, Matthew.  You’ve done it before!”  My self-motivational talk wasn’t really helping.  It’s funny what pressure can do and how it almost always comes from within.  I had put saddles and other tack on before but, for a few seconds, as I looked at the various pieces of equipment on the ground my mind went blank.  Luckily, I had Sandra just outside the round pen who knew exactly what to say and exactly when to say it.  My mind was still buzzing from my second join-up of the week, this time with a lovely pony called Derek, so Sandra gave me a moment to let that soak in before bringing the tack in so that I could start the process of getting ready to long line.  (Long lining is a method of working a horse from the ground, like the more commonly used lunging but with two lines. For more info on long lining I’ll put some links at the end of this post).  I’m used to having a horse tied up whilst putting tack on but I didn’t have that luxury in the round pen, so I fumbled around trying to get the saddle and bridle on whilst getting tangled up in the line I had attached to the head collar.  I’m sure this amused Derek.  With the tack in place, including a stirrup leather to hold the stirrups in place so they don’t bang on the horse’s side, it was time to clip the lines on and get working.  Derek knew what he was doing and responded to my requests to speed up, slow down and turn with no problem at all and he stood wonderfully still while I took all the tack off and made a big fuss of him.

That afternoon I would be doing more long lining, only this time out on the roads.  I genuinely struggle to think of a better way to spend an afternoon.  We got in the car with Ian, who owns and runs the farm and drove for about 5 minutes up the road to some lovely, quiet country lanes.  The ponies, Precious and Gromit,  were  fitted with their training surcingles and lines and off we strolled.  My partner and I were working (if you can call it that) with Gromit.  As we spent the next hour or so wandering through the chocolate box countryside, listening to Ian’s stories, all felt very right in my little world.  I would actually prescribe this activity as a stress reliever.  I went to sleep that night with a  smile on my face.

Off on an Intelligent path - Part 2 - My first Join-up

I reached up to unclip the line from the head collar and before I had a chance to get the clip open Sarah shot to the edge of the pen, taking 3 coils of the line out of my hand (luckily they had shown us how to coil the line so that it would come out of your hand easier should this sort of thing happen).  She stood, taking a couple of deep breaths but seemed calm so I walked over to her, stroked her neck and attempted to unclip again, this time successfully.  But no sooner had the clip released, she was off, cantering round the pen, anticlockwise.  I just tried to focus on staying in a good ‘driving’ position, on a 45 degree angle to her shoulders and just trying to keep up, it almost felt like I was spinning on  the spot.  After 5 or 6 times round anticlockwise, I heard Kelly say “Start to think about making your turn”.  I waited until Sarah had past the gate and then I made the slightest movement towards being level with her shoulders, she knew the drill and pivoted round to move in the opposite direction.  Another 5 times round the pen, this time clockwise Kelly said “Think about getting her to turn again” and once more, the slightest shift in my movement had an immediate response.  Kelly gave another instruction to lower the energy, see if I could get Sarah down to a trot, then a walk.  I looked for the signs; inside ear, licking and chewing, smaller circle and lowering the head.  It seemed as though I had seen elements of all four but my mind was in a bit of a spin, so was my body.  “Start to think about where you are going to invite her in.”  Kelly said quietly, getting me ready to ask for Join-up.  I walked parallel to Sarah’s body and then arced away keeping her in my peripheral vision over my shoulder.  She turned to face me and took a tentative step and stopped.  “And breathe”  came another helpful instruction from the side of the pen, it was said more like “Aaaaaaand breeeeathe”.  I could still see that Sarah was looking at me but hadn’t taken another step towards me, I turned to face her and then walked in an arc until I was level with her flank.  Her head followed me but her feet remained still so I shook the line very gently in my hand (a great little trick Sandra gave us) and all of a sudden her feet moved, the last 3 steps until her nose was on my shoulder, I turned round beaming to give her a rub between the eyes, my first Join-up!

Sarah was the beautiful grey mare that Kelly and Sandra had selected for me to do my first Join-up session of the week with.  But I’ve skipped ahead slightly…

Rewind to earlier that morning…

I seemed to be the only person in the room without a warm drink.  If there was one thing that would follow very close behind horses in the order of importance, it would be tea and coffee.  “This must be rectified” I thought, so I settled for a hot orange squash, (don’t knock it until you’ve tried it) put my name badge on and boom, we were into our first day of the course.

We went round the room and told everyone a bit about ourselves, why we were there and what we hoped to get out of the week.  I suppose I’m quite nosey, so I really enjoyed hearing the groups little stories.  First impressions count for a lot and I immediately thought “I’m going to like this bunch!” 

So there I was, all wide eyed at the front of the classroom when our first lecture/class/chat started.  It’s hard to define what to call these periods, because they were very educational and well presented but also very laid back, without all the stuffiness and restriction that I associated with classrooms.  Which in hindsight, I think is why so much of it stuck.  No one was frantically scribbling notes, we all just seemed to be soaking it in.  Kelly Marks (horse trainer, author and Mrs Intelligent Horsemanship) told us about what Join-up is, how it works and why it works.  I like that, they didn’t just throw information at you and expect you to believe it, they explained why, and in most cases, showed you too.  We then moved out to the round pen where Kelly gave us a Join-up demonstration which she made to look very easy and then the bombshell, we would be doing our first Join-ups after lunch.  Gulp!

Lunch was a great chance to get my head together and in no time I was absorbed in the DVD that was playing and then by hearing more about my fellow classmates.  It was then time for us to go out to the round pens and get cracking.  There were two round pens so there would be two groups, one with Kelly and the other with IH Recommended Associate, Sandra Williams.  I was in Kelly’s group, my first Join-up would be in front of Kelly Marks!  I chose to see this as a win-win, firstly an awesome story to tell but also, the pressure was totally off, it was day one so expectations had to be low…right?!